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BLACK ROSES

CABINET OF HENRI GAMUL

ANNIVERSARY

CURIOSITY PEDDLER: WEEP AND MOAN

COLD READS

HANGMAN'S DOZEN THEME

TRAILER WE WHO ARE HIS FOLLOWERS

HANGMAN'S DOZEN EP. 1

HANGMAN'S DOZEN EP. 2: THE DROWNED MAN

THE SWARM from THE BOOK OF WEIRD

THE HUNGRY FACE from THE BOOK OF WEIRD

AUDIO DRAMA: ATOMIC PLAYBOY

ELIXIR

SUNDOWNERS EP 2 SAM HILL DIED HERE

BLACKOUT CITY: DEATH RAIN

ELECTRIC CHAIR 37

RADIO PLAY: SEEING RED

HORROR ADDICTS 113

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

A SACCI FOR SALE copyright2011 m.s.


(SACCI---Pronounced “SACK-SEE”)






It was two-thirty in the morning and Barry was still on GARAGE SALE.COM. Lily awoke, saw the quick flash of light on their darkened bedroom wall from the computer's monitor. She sat up, eyes barely in focus. Her blonde hair was matted to the left side of her face. Lily rubbed her eyes, yawned.

Barry was shirtless. Lily saw mounds and mounds of hair on his back, each strand waving at her because the central air working overtime on such a hot summer night. She watched him nod his head and began typing fast. Lily rose from the bed and stood, the strap from her nightgown slid from a shoulder and momentarily revealed her right breast. She coughed to get his attention, but Barry was caught up in something. She rolled her eyes and placed her breast back into her nightgown.

“What are you doing?” Lily said, annoyed by the small amount of attention from Barry.

Barry jumped at the sound of her voice. “Nothing,” He squeaked. He retrieved his man's voice and said again, “Nothing, honey.”








Lily walked over and peered over Barry's shoulders. “Oh,” She said disappointed. “I thought I would catch you looking at porno or having an online affair like normal people.” She walked to the bathroom. He could hear running water in the toilet. “Instead,” She appeared again in the bedroom after a loud flush. “I find you still on GARAGESALES.COM bidding on crap we don't need.”

“Its not crap,” Barry stretched his arms, bones cracking like incidental music from a scene in a movie. “I'm a collector, Lily. Everything I buy is classy pop culture.”

“Yeah.......like Ernst Borgnine's underpants he wore in the movie ICE STATION ZEBRA.”

“Don't mock me. I did find a buyer for that item.”

“Old Mr. Coleman down the street gave you five bucks for that
item.”









“So. He's a collector too.”
“Barry, he's a seventy-five year old gay man who talks to a photograph of Truman Capote.”

“That’s not normal?”


Lily stared at Barry for a moment. “There's no getting through to you is there?” She wearily climbed back in bed. “We have a garage full of stuff we can't use, will not use, no interest in them other than you bought them from GARAGESALE.COM. You will be alone, divorced, weirdo trying to sell a comb once used by Danny Devito for pennies to buy your next meal. I'm just warning you.” She removed her nightgown and threw it to the floor. “Now get in bed and screw me silly and I wont divorce you.”


Barry's face fell. He sighed, turned the computer off. “Okay,” He said with the enthusiasm of a man about to be hung from the neck at the gallows.







In the morning, Lily was awaken by Barry's cries of joy. She bolted upright in bed. Looking around, expecting something other than her husband glued to the computer monitor laughing and high-fiving the cat. “I did it!” Barry screamed and the cat ran off with it's tail in a question mark.

Lily crawled out of bed and put her nightgown on. She heard herself say it, but didn't want to ask him, “What did you do?” Knowing that was a mistake.

“I won a SACCI!”

Lily shrugged. “What the devil is a SACCI?”

Barry tapped his forehead with his index finger and thought a moment. “Well,” He started.” Thought some more. “It's a......”

“God, Barry. Don't strain yourself.”

“Ha-ha-fucking-ha, Lily.”






“You don't even know what you bought, you idiot,” Lily angrily sashed into the bathroom.

“I do too know what I bought!” He called out to her.


Barry looked at the computer screen. It read:

GARAGESALE.COM

CONGRATUALATIONS! YOU HAVE WON THIS ITEM:
SACCI----A SUBHUMAN THAT GRANTS ANY NUMBER OF WISHES— IT REQUIRES VERY LITTLE DEMAND OF YOU AND WITH IT'S POWER OF WISH FULLFILMANT, COULD CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOREVER!


Lily looked at Barry, stone faced. “You are an idiot, Barry Hughes.”
She clicked off the screen for GARAGESALE.COM and signed in to her e-mail.






“Why would you say that?” Barry was puzzled. “We could use this.”

“Barry, this kind of thing doesn't exist. Just like Ewoks, Leprechauns, and unicorns---”

“Unicorns did exist,” Barry exerted. “They died out with the dinosaurs. I saw their definition in the dictionary.”

“Why did I Mary you?” Lily checked her e-mail. Several from her Mother she didn't wish to read and far too many Facebook comments on a picture she uploaded of the cat.

Barry thought a moment, then he spurted out, “Because you love me,
that's why you married me.”

Lily scoffed. “I wouldn't go that far.”









“Lily......I need some gas money,” Barry said softly.

She sighed. “Get my card, honey.” She went back to answering the
e-mail to her Mother. “Try to have a nice day at work, okay.”

Barry placed his clip on tie, made a sour face. “Today is ten percent off for senior citizens at the store. Those blue-haired old ladies creep me out when they get too fresh.”

Lily laughed. “That's what you get when your cute and assistant manager at a grocery store.”

“Yeah.......they sense my power.”

Barry leaned over Lily's shoulder and kissed her goodbye.


“I'll have dinner ready for you when you get home,” She called out to him as he went out the front door of the apartment. Barry waved to her and closed the door.







Barry came home at about six that day. He managed to pass through front door of his apartment and plopped down on his chair. Tired hands reached for the remote, but dropped it a few times. Retrieving the remote control the last time was when Barry noticed the old naked man lying on the couch. The old man was blind, his body no longer obeyed his brain's commands to move. His hands and feet were drawn in from horrible arthritis. Breathing was very difficult for his inflamed lungs.

Barry stared at the old man, which was lying on his back, breathing heavily. The old man sounded like a vacuum cleaner with a golf ball stuck in the hose. It didn't register in him who it was. He remembered that Lily said her Father was dead, so that's not who it was. Ditto for his Father. Was it the homeless guy from down the street that kept badgering Lily for cheese? Who was this old geezer and why did he smell like a goat?


“Lily?” Barry called to her. There was a rumbling from their bedroom and she appeared in the doorway of the living room.

“Yes, dear?” Lily said with a smile on her face.









Barry hit a button the remote and the television turned on. Immediately he began to channel surf. Watching the screen as visage of changing faces and body parts along with different locations and products appeared and disappeared, Barry never once took his eyes from the glowing box.

“Who is the old naked man on our couch?” He said calmly.

“What old naked man, Barry my love,” Lily folded her arms across one another.

“The one right there,” Barry pointed the remote to the old man who was now coughing and spitting something up, then swallowing it back in, repeating the process several times. “That old naked man, Lily.”

Lily clucked her tongue. “Ohhhh......yeah. Him.”










Barry moved his eyes to meet Lily's cold gaze. “Are you going to tell me who he is?”

“It's your package, dumb shit.” She walked back to the bedroom and slammed the door.

Barry dropped the remote and jumped out of his chair with childish enthusiasm. He rushed to the old man and looked him over.

“Your kidding me,” Barry cried out, laughing wildly. “This is awesome! Fantastic! Have you tried him out yet?”

Barry noticed she wasn't in the living room anymore. He searched for the box the old man was shipped in. He found it behind the couch. Barry shrugged. “Hmmm.....not as big as I would've thought for a man shipped in.” He found a note hand written.

NO REFUNDS.







“Of course,” Barry shook his head.

Lily appeared again. “Why did you do this?”

“Because I always wanted someone to grant me wishes.” Barry said matter of fact.

“You used my credit card,” Lily said.

“How else would I get this wish master?” Barry grinned at her.

Lily stepped forward and raised fer fist to hit Barry. “I wish I had a thousand dollars every time you did something stupid-----”


As she her fist popped Barry in the nose, several bills from treasury dept. appeared in her balled up hand. Barry fell on his backside, hard, realized his wife had just punched him out.






“Barry!” Lily screamed, her voice cracking at the last syllable. “Did you see what just happened?”


Barry was shocked. He felt the pain his bloodied pulsating nose attacking every one of his senses. “I saw my wife hit me,” He said in that hurt little boy voice he uses when he's upset. “My fucking wife hit me with her fists.”


“No! Money appeared out of thin air in my hand.” Lily helped Barry to his feet. He ran for the bathroom. “Oh my God, “ Lily was writhing in joy. “I can't believe this is happening.”


Barry darted back in the living room, holding a towel to his nostril.
“You didn't have to hit me!” He exclaimed.









“Sit down, honey.” Lily took Barry by the arm and placed him in his chair. She cocked his head back and held the towel to his nose herself as she sat on the arm of the chair.
“I'm sorry, baby. I got carried away. You know how angry I get at simplest things. I don't mean to hurt you. You know I never intentionally mean to hurt you.”

Barry thought a moment. He sighed. “It's okay, I guess.”

Lily rubbed her hand on his shoulder. “Your a real sport, Barry.”


He nodded. “Yeah.....too much of a one. So, you think the old man granted the wish?”


Lily shrugged. “You said he was a -----”

“SACCI,” Barry said.










“Right,” Lily stood, touched her lips with towel, then threw it at Barry, hitting him in the chest. “A SACCI. There's no restrictions on how many wishes you can have?”

“Yeah,” Barry said with affirmation. “That's what GARAGESALE.COM said.” He said, began following Lily as she paced the room.

“No,” She said. “There's no way you could get all that without a catch.
No way, gotta be a catch somewhere.”

Lily stopped, turned to Barry. He lifted an eyebrow.
“Why can't we just enjoy the wishes and not worry about consequences that may not exist.”

Lily looked at Barry incredulously. He drew in air and held it, waiting for Lily to down size him for the statement. Then she smiled. Shrugged her shoulders and laughed.








“ Yeah,” She said. “Why not enjoy it.”

“Yeah,” Barry repeated her. “Why not enjoy it.”

“I wish I had the most expensive bottle of wine on the dining room table,” Lily stated. They walked to the dining room. There, the bottle sat, already uncorked.


Lily and Barry burst into laughter at the same time. They hugged each other. Barry took her by the hand and placed her at the table. He kissed Lily softly. She turned red in the face and turned away from him as she always did after he kissed her like that.


“I wish a steak dinner and shrimp was on the table.” Barry said.
And they were not surprised when it appeared on the table.


As they cut into their steak dinner, Lily looked into Barry's eyes and told him she loved him.





Barry awoke in the morning in a frenzy. He stumbled out bed, his vision severely diminished. He felt his way from the bedroom to the living room, shouting for Lily. In his trek was a lot of things they wished for and a lot money laying around, TV.'s , stereos, different foods, a Cadillac outside parked where his van was. Clothes from the best designers in the world. Jewelry for him and Lily. Twenty miles away a three story mansion belonged to them as well.


Barry crawled on his hands and knees, calling for Lily. He was stopped cold when he felt a man's leg. It was the old man, dressing in one of Barry's suits. He heard Lily moaning. She was laying on the couch, completely naked because clothing hurt every part of her body. It was difficult for her to breathe, the air was difficult to catch, her lungs inflamed. Her tongue was ravaged with cancerous sores. Her hands and feet were drawn up from intense arthritis.


The old man helped Barry up, hugged him as he spoke in broken English. “Greed,” He paused, laughed. “It destroys the body, eh?”










The old man left Barry standing there in almost complete darkness.
“Where did you go?” Barry screamed over and over, weeping. Lily still moaned, tried very hard to put sentences together. Her broken body would not obey her brain's commands.



GARAGESALE.COM

TWO SACCI FOR SALE. BID ENDS TOMORROW ELEVEN P.M.





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